Surviving Middle School
Written By: Isabelle Saunders
Middle school: the epitome of adjustment. New emotions, new responsibilities, new drama, new acne. You are learning who you are while juggling school work in volumes you’re not used to. For the majority of students, it is fair to say that middle school is a challenge. And challenges are often good. But something like middle school doesn’t have to be unpleasant for your child if you know how to navigate it. This is a blog for both parents and educators of new middle schoolers.
Your child is not quite on the border between childhood and adulthood. They are still a child, and this is something that should be stated up front. Though responsibility is good and beneficial in reasonable amounts, keep this in mind when placing pressure on your child.
On the other hand, middle school is a time of almost unrivaled brain growth. Your child wants a taste of independence. They want to hang out with their friends (which is highly beneficial to development!), and to get a feel for what it’s like having their own life. Parents, allow a little slack on the leash. The growth is gradual, so it’s hard to know when to give your child new freedoms, but reaching middle school is a good and clear milestone. It is advised to let students pick their own partners in class, and to encourage constructive communication among peers.
You have full control over how you treat your middle schooler.
It’s all about balance.
Be solution-based. Though you should trust your child, you should also remember that as a middle schooler, their perception may not always be the closest to reality. It’s not malicious, it’s just a matter of brain development. Don’t let them wallow in teen angst- let them confide in you, but don't let them sit around feeling sorry for themselves without trying to take necessary action.
Encourage accountability. In elementary school, your child’s teacher might have had weekly emails or sent home a pre-packed folder of homework. Things aren’t so centralized in middle school- there are more teachers, more assignments, and more variables. As much as you may like to, you will not be able to be on top of all your child’s homework. So you have to make sure they are. Instead of hovering over them and preventing independence, communicate that they need to be responsible and stay conscious of their work. If they don’t have one already, it would be beneficial to get them a planner to keep track of school deadlines and social events. Middle school is largely undocumented after the fact: it doesn’t go on any transcipts. Mistakes are okay as long as you learn from them.
You as a teacher have the opportunity for a learning experience. If you only have control over the proceedings of your class, that’s fine. Even one class makes a positive difference.
You may feel pressure to become unreasonably strict on your students. You may perceive this as helping them adjust to a stricter environment and life. But you have to acknowledge that at this age, children are individual people with their own academic and social needs. It’s not one size fits all, and it’s far more effective to treat them like people. Of course you should exercise authority when you need to, but consider this:
Would you, a child with newly raging hormones and social matters, be more willing to learn from:
A rigid adult obsessed with asserting authority who punishes students beyond reason
An understanding adult who acknowledges that you are your own person and tries to meet you where you are
Allow movement. Students should not have to sit still for hours on end if they don’t want to. Especially for ADHD students, it can prove counterintuitive when they end up being distracted by not being able to move.
Make room for choices. As aforementioned, middle school kids are looking for a little independence. While the benevolent dictatorship route may cut down on complications, it also makes kids used to having decisions made for them, which will not help their adjustment later on in life.
Middle school is a land of compromises and balance. The thing to remember as both a parent and an educator is that an understanding mindset is crucial. They’re kids, but they’re getting ready to get ready to not be that way.
Check out these sources for more information:
https://www.2peasandadog.com/2019/05/teaching-middle-school-students.html
https://www.moms.com/navigate-middle-school-years/