The Best Investment You Can Make For Your Teen
By Dr. Cam, Family Success Coach
Your teenager’s most fundamental need is to feel loved by YOU. When your child feels unconditionally loved by you he is better equipped to handle the bumpy road of adolescence.
You’re probably thinking, “Of course I love my teen. She knows that!” But you may be surprised. Your teen needs constant, consistent affirmation of your love. More importantly, your positive interactions with your teen must outweigh the negative.
Think of it like a bank account that takes relational currency.
Relational currency is an act or statement that expresses love, care, or concern for another person. Every time you show your teen affection, it’s like making a deposit into his account. The more deposits you make, the more he'll feel connected and supported by you, even during difficult times.
On the other side of the coin, every negative interaction is a withdrawal.
If you withdraw more than you deposit, you deplete your teen’s account, leaving your teen feeling abandoned and unloved. Instead of expressing that to you, she may misbehave, act out at school, have a tantrum, or rebel. This turns opportunities for connection into power struggles, which leave everyone angry and discouraged. That leads to even more negative interaction.
The goal is to keep your teen’s emotional account as full as possible. That way, when the inevitable clash arises, your teen has enough relational currency to cover it.
When you keep your teen’s emotional bank account full, you're able to form a stronger connection between the two of you. A strong connection leads to better communication, deeper understanding, and will drastically improve your relationship with your teen.
The more you invest new, the more your teen will prosper later.
Cameron (Dr. Cam) Caswell, PhD, the “teen translator,” is an adolescent psychologist, family success coach, host of the Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam podcast and Parenting Teens Power Hour, and is the author of Power Phrases for Parents: Teen Edition. For over a decade, she has been helping parents build strong, positive relationships with their teens through improved communication, connection, and understanding using her PRIME Parenting Method. Dr. Cam is the mom of a teen too, so she not only talks the talk, she walks the walk!
Visit Dr. Cam’s website: www.askdrcam.com
Thank you for your insightful guest blog, Dr. Cam. Don't forget to join Wendy Weinberger, President and COO of Illuminos Academic Coaching & Tutoring, as she speaks with Dr.Cam on the Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam podcast. Tune in via Facebook Live (on Dr. Cam's Facebook page) at 9:30am EST on Tuesday, August 3. Then, join Illuminos and Staying Ahead of the Game on Monday, August 9, at 12pm EST for Dr. Cam discussing "3 Secrets to Communicating with Your Teen." Register for this free "Less Stress" Parenting discussion by clicking here.