Disagreements During COVID 19

Our “new normal” has moved from school, work and exercise class schedule to spending the majority of our time indoors. We are trying to find new ways to balance work, play and study. During this time, we are trying to navigate everyone working from home. Ultimately, this is going to lead to disagreements. Although no one likes disagreements, this may be a way for us to use our communication skills and become closer with each other. 

Aim for Win-Win

During a disagreement try not to focus on “winning” the conversation and look at a solution for everyone involved. In order to have a win-win situation, avoid harsh words or using someone’s sensitivities against them. When being caught up in the moment this can be easy to do. Everyone needs to be heard and that their thoughts and opinions matter. 

Have a Conversation about Roles in the House

Things have been shifting in all aspects of the world lately and that may include responsibilities inside the home. Chores that may have once been done by someone is now being completed by another person. Resentment and anger can arise when we feel someone is not pulling their weight in the home. To ensure clear roles, have a conversation with everyone.  Allow the children to have an input in what chores they would like to do. By reworking the responsibilities, it will allow structure in the home. 

Use I Statements 

When having a conversation about someone’s feelings using I statements can be very helpful. If a child is telling you that they are upset you can encourage them to say “I feel hurt because…” Using these statements reduces defensiveness from the other party and allows for better understanding. While this may seem simple, changing your language can reduce unnecessary tension. 

Options

Giving children options encourages the behavior you want but allows them to have a sense of control. This will show your child value and to choose responsibly in the future. Recently, their access to several choices has been limited due to the outside world. However, that gives us the chance to continue to give them choices. Consistency with choices is crucial and the key is to give your child multiple “correct” options to choose from. Thus, overriding the self-determination gene that tends to kick in during adolescence.