The Importance of an Academic Coach for your Child with Learning Differences
Written by: Kennedy Simpson
Let’s face it, the modern world is a stressful, confusing place. Your children have sports and clubs to attend, work hours are long, and finding methods to sort out the madness is the only way to keep yourself sane. This goes double for our youth juggling school, extracurriculars, and social-life navigation.
Many of the tips and tricks for managing one’s life are just not built into the school curriculum, so it falls to parents and mentors to ensure their children can learn valuable life skills that will allow them to thrive in school and beyond. This can become tricky when the established methodology is geared toward a population of students who learn in a singular way with a narrow scope of memory methods.
But do not fear! An academic coach will be able to help you wrangle an effective plan that can work with your child’s learning style and promote their confidence in an uncertain world.
Here are some of the benefits of having an academic coach available to work with you.
Academic Coaches are Trained in research-supported routines to help your child succeed
Academic coaches are trained in reflective practices as well as multiple tactics to reframe students’ routines and thought processes. Sometimes the stresses of daily life are due to obligations and tasks feeling overwhelming, or impossible to overcome. Studies have shown that coaching in executive function can allow students to see their problems more clearly for what they are and how they can be managed. Executive function coaching focuses not on academics specifically but promoting self-talk, encouraging experimentation, and building emotional resilience. These skills can allow children to work with their learning differences, and not against them.
Lesson plans are customized for your child, not for a group
Unlike a school setting, academic coaching can tailor to an individual student. That means a tutor can focus on a student’s specific difficulties and find solutions that work for them. Often the tactics useful for neurotypical students are stressful or even useless for their non-neurotypical classmates. Furthermore, tutors can tailor their lessons to the individual in a way to keep them relevant and engaging, using the student’s intrinsic motives to work for them instead of against them.
Lessons are flexible to unique & changing needs
The needs of students are ever-changing. As they grow up and take on more obligations, new stressors will arise, and skills will be mastered. As such, their lessons can grow with them, introducing new skills and techniques as troubles arise. Tutors will also grow, going through trainings and learning new approaches to benefit your child. This will allow the students and tutors to adapt to their situations that much easier and provide dynamic lesson plans.
Accountability provided from an outside source
Obligations to parents and teachers can keep a student accountable for their homework (and executive functioning homework!), but at the end of the day, parents and teachers are authority figures that students answer to daily. Having someone specifically there to hold them accountable for their habits, provide encouragement, and act as a mentor, is important to have meaningful progress in executive functioning skills.
In short, academic coaches can provide accountability, flexibility, personalization, and professionalism for your student as they learn techniques to improve executive function. Students with learning differences won’t always get the support they need at school, an academic coach can give them the attention they need. Having someone on their side to help with day-to-day habits and skills will make their stress less, and their learning more!
At Illuminos, we take great care to pair your family with the right academic coach. We complete the student’s “circle of support” by also working with their teachers, school administrators, therapists, psychiatrists, and others, so each student can improve their academics, emotional wellbeing, independence, and social skills.
Our 360-degree approach includes monitoring school portals and reinforcing concepts taught in the classroom. We teach students, including those managing learning differences, Executive Functioning skills while supporting their subject matter needs. We integrate our proprietary program into your child’s everyday life.
Calm your nerves and receive the right support today!
HOW TO SEAMLESSLY TRANSITION CHILDREN BACK TO SCHOOL
By Marissa Poggio
Heading back to school can be a very stressful time for students. They have a lot on their plate with shopping for new school supplies, meeting a new teacher, mingling with new classmates, and adapting to a new schedule.
Home life can become tough if students don’t have the coping skills they need to handle challenging situations. Believe it or not, transitioning back to school doesn’t have to be a stressful time.
Using the following techniques can boost your child’s confidence about returning to school and even leave them excited about what’s to come!
Establish a Summer Routine
Research shows that individuals who grow up with predictable, daily routines are less likely to have time management or attention problems as adults. This means that routines help students excel in life. A daily schedule helps develop executive functioning skills so that they don’t feel overwhelmed. Here are two ways to help your child adapt to their new school schedule:
Start by waking up at the same time each day or eating breakfast at the same hour every morning.
Create a visual calendar with your child - Your child needs to be able to physically see what’s on the calendar for the day, as a result, your student will be a pro at managing their planner on the first day of school!
Discuss Academic Goals Together
Get your child excited for the new school year by helping them create academic goals. This will give them something to look forward to as challenges arise. Ask your child what they would like to accomplish this year academically. Make sure their goals are realistic and reachable. Some examples of tangible goals are participating more in class, handing in assignments on time, and prioritizing assignments based on due dates.
Furthermore, to help make these goals reachable, you can lay them out in a clear concise manner to set your student up for success. Keep a notebook for smart goals and track their progress. Have fun with goal setting, and reward your child whenever they get closer to reaching a goal.
Be a Good Role Model
It’s normal for students to feel anxious about going back to school. Parents and teachers are a great support system for students in these instances. Children tend to copy their parent’s way of handling challenging situations. Be a good role model by teaching your student how to cope when they are distressed. Some healthy ways of coping during a stressful time include speaking truthfully about your feelings, seeking support from a loved one, and coming up with a plan to help overcome the situation.
Your child will observe that these are healthy mechanisms and seek your help when needed. Consequently, these skills will aid in stressful moments during the school year.
Communicate With Your Child
It’s important to remember that whatever your child is feeling, it’s real and should be validated. If they come to you to talk about their feelings, they’re already on the road to success. Being an outlet for them helps ease some anxiety about going back to school.
Simply asking your child what they are nervous about or just having a conversation about the change in routine will make the transition seamless. Once you are aware of their concerns you can work together on how to overcome those anxieties.
Extra Tools and Resources
Following these tips along with using some executive functioning skills will help transition your child back to school this year. Even though you may be doing everything right at home, some children need a little extra help developing executive functioning skills.
Illuminos is dedicated to teaching capable students how to improve their executive functioning skills. Check out the outstanding services Illuminos offers to give your student the extra push they need to excel in school.
Planning, Backed by Science
By Matt Strickland
For most high school and college students, planning is either something new, something we heard about from a teacher, or something our Illuminos Coach is nagging us to do. The most common statements I hear from students when we breach the subject of planning are:
Why do I have to do this? I know my schedule in my head.
I don’t have time to sit down and plan; I would rather just do the work.
Oh yeah… I was given an agenda book by my [insert institution, parent, mentor, teacher].
Let’s start with some basic science. Students don’t have a plan in their heads. This reality dates back many decades and has robust empirical support behind it. Based on an article published by George A. Miller back in 1956, he described the human brain as having an information bottleneck, which he called channel capacity. The channel capacity is the upper limit on the extent to which the observer can match their responses to the stimuli we give them (Miller 1956).
The stimuli our students have, especially today, are enormous. I have trouble learning about a student’s schedule from mom or dad because they sometimes don’t know what’s on their student’s schedule. School portals are often inaccurate because teachers vary widely in how often they update the portals. Miller’s data revealed that, on average, people can only handle a certain amount of input that produces the desired output. Our capacity to handle pieces of information flatlines at about seven, plus or minus two (Miller 1956). This channel capacity is what directly affects our ability to make decisions, especially well-educated decisions.
How does this relate to planning? Our ability to make a well-educated decision is directly correlated to the result(s) we obtain. The more information we have, the more likely we’ll make the right choice. At Illuminos, we want our students to start to know not only the material that’s on the chemistry test this Thursday but also know how to talk to their math teacher about receiving some special attention after class that may offer a leg-up on the next quiz. Just these two pieces of school-related information alone can overload a developing mind. Imagine adding a learning disadvantage on top of that. How easy is it to really have a full understanding of what needs to get done during the week at school and balance practices, performances, and hanging out with friends? This is where planning comes into play.
I use the phrase, “clear your mind so you can use your brain” when I start to work with students on planning. The first step is to reduce the traffic at the brain’s information bottleneck. By dumping the information out of our heads and onto the planner, we make room for the other items and tasks that were buried under traffic. Once the traffic is cleared, we can look at all the information on the page and start making well-educated decisions. We can start to plan our day. When do I like to study? When do I want to hang out with my friends? What time do I need to be at practice after school? What do I need to do once I’m done with practice? If the answer is “I don’t know” to any of these questions, we can look at our planner page where we wrote everything down. Then we can insert our obligations for the day, the extra tasks we need to do, and the fun we want to have.
The fundamental science of planning is not new, but planning is new to some of our students. Learning to work with each student’s unique schedule is our specialty. Teaching students to plan is simple; getting students to sit down and plan on their own time is the difficult part. It’s not until then that the desired results start to show up. That’s when our students start picking up on the value of planning. Let your students grow and encourage them to clear their minds so they can use their brains.
At Illuminos, we provide the customized scaffolding your child needs while he or she learns to master organization, time management, note-taking, study and test-taking skills, self-advocacy, verbal and non-verbal communication, and social skills. To learn more about executive function and how it can help your child, please read our other resources or schedule time to talk with us.
Work Cited:
Miller, G. A. (1956). The magical number seven, plus or minus two: Some limits on our capacity for processing information. Psychological Review, 63(2), 81.
The State of Student Mental Health
According to a new report by the CDC, poor mental health among children continues to be a substantial public health concern. The WHO recently released a scientific brief stating there was a 25% increase in anxiety and depression worldwide during the first year of the pandemic, with children representing an alarming portion of the affected population. What can we do as parents to help our school-aged children with their ongoing mental health challenges? How can we help them succeed both emotionally and academically?
Connection
Help your child feel connected to family, school, and community. According to the CDC, school connectedness is “the belief by students that adults and peers in the school care about them as individuals.” Students who feel this way show improvement in their overall academic achievement, including higher grades and test scores, better school attendance, and remaining in school longer.
Here are a few examples of how to connect with your child and help your child feel school connectedness:
Spend time with your child watching a favorite movie, playing a board game, or just having more in-depth conversations about the day, the week, and life.
Do something together that you both enjoy.
Volunteer at your child’s school to demonstrate that you are invested in and supportive of their day-to-day life and experience at school. This is where our one-on-one coach support is vital for many students. Our goal is for your child’s coach to become a trusted confidant, advisor, and personal cheerleader.
Good Sleep Habits
Make sure your child is getting enough sleep. We say this often, but the positive effects of consistent and quality sleep need repeating. Studies have shown getting 8 hours of sleep can have a substantial impact on academic success. Getting enough sleep is also crucial to giving the mind time to rest, recharge, and process the information from the day. Research has shown as many as two-thirds of high school students don’t get enough sleep. Most students are chronically exhausted physically, intellectually, and emotionally. The physical, mental, and behavioral problems that occur when a teen goes without sleep are huge, so it is important to focus on getting teens the amount of sleep they need.
Encourage Physical Activity
Limiting sedentary activities and being physically active can also have a positive impact on mental health, grades, and academic achievement. Studies have found that sedentary behavior throughout adolescence is associated with a greater risk of depressive symptoms in teens. Increasing any type of physical activity through sports, dance, or play is an important step in mitigating the risk of depression in later teenage years. Have a dance party, play an active indoor game, go for a walk/run together, or make a family fitness challenge. Physical activity helps the body produce the hormones to keep your child in a positive mood and full of energy. Even walking or biking around the neighborhood with friends counts as being active, so make sure to encourage your child to get outside.
At Illuminos, we provide structure, motivation, and accountability. Our 360-degree support includes monitoring school portals, reinforcing concepts taught in the classroom, and working with everyone in the student’s circle of support. Your Illuminos Coach will work with your family, teachers, school administrators, therapists, psychiatrists, and others, so your child can improve his or her academics, emotional wellbeing, independence, and social skills. Your child’s Illuminos Coach will become a trusted confidant, advisor, and personal cheerleader while raising expectations for success
Click here to learn more about Iluminos or sign up for a FREE consultation call.
The Developmental Side Effects of Too Much Sugar
Written by Isabelle Saunders & Liz Small
Ask any child what they look forward to in February and you will inevitably hear about getting candy for Valentine’s Day. Americans purchase roughly 58 million pounds of chocolate each year to celebrate their loved ones on Valentine’s Day. Of course, we hear it time and time again: “Sugar is not good for you.”
Scientifically, children 10 and older should consume no more than a maximum of 30 grams of sugar per day, and 7 to 10-year-old children should only consume a maximum of 24 grams of sugar per day. The average American consumes nearly three times the recommended volume of sugar.
But, why is sugar unhealthy, and what are the developmental side effects of overconsumption, specifically in adolescents?
Mood & Behavior. Research suggests that there is a strong connection between high sugar consumption, altered behaviors, and poor emotional regulation. Although sugar intake may boost mood in the short-term, excessive sugar consumption has been linked with an increased risk of mental health problems. Your child may think a lot of sugar will make them happy, but it really just sends their mood into a deep plunge.
Manipulation of the Brain. Sugar is addictive. Glucose triggers endorphins, which create pleasure, which leads to wanting more sugar. Glucose is also the brain’s main source of energy, and too much of it consistently can lead to hyperactivity and mood swings. Studies show that this hyperactivity can damage cognitive ability later in life. It can also create overexertion of the amygdala, which can cause excessive fear or anxiety.
Memory & Performance. New research shows excessive sugar consumption in adolescence can impair learning and memory performance later in life. Daily intake of sugar-sweetened beverages during teenage years is associated with worsening of performance on a learning and memory task during adulthood. Excessive consumption of sugar during childhood negatively impacts memory function via the gut microbiome. Changes in the bacteria in the gut may be the key to sugar-induced memory impairment.
Of course, it’s never too late to change your child’s eating habits and minimize the amount of sugar they eat. Plus, research has shown that memory damage from chronic sugar consumption during adolescence is reversible. Good nutrition is so much more important than we think!
At Illuminos, we provide the customized scaffolding your child needs while he or she learns to master organization, time management, note-taking, study and test-taking skills, self-advocacy, verbal and non-verbal communication, and social skills.
To learn more about executive function and how it can help your child, please read our other resources or schedule time to talk with us.
A Guide to Self-Evaluation
Measuring progress is one of the essential steps in building academic momentum. Although we often assess students’ progress via report cards and exam grades, there is usually more to the story. School success should be measured through quantitative and qualitative measures, similar to annual job performance assessments. Proficiency in test-taking and homework accuracy should be evaluated alongside the more nuanced soft skills like organization and time management. A clear picture of progress and potential comes into view only when we combine the dual natures of student performance.
Of course, measuring student progress comes with other challenges beyond the essence of scope. Another factor is perspective. Our perspective of our own progress is skewed one way or another. Some students are too hard on themselves, while others need to be more critical. Parents and teachers can also be biased. Parents sometimes have strict standards that either don’t fit their child or are missing other elements of students’ success. Teachers carry biases, too. Some measure student performance exclusively on empirical data compared to the class average, ignoring the better approach of measuring a student compared to that student’s past performance.
Even with our perspective biases, there are three dimensions to consider in a progress checking practice: timing, balance, and implementation. Even the slightest step in the right direction is progress. Any amount of improvement should be celebrated.
In assessing a student’s progress, timing is critical. We recommend self-assessments weekly, monthly, and quarterly. These assessments can be written or verbal, formal or informal. The goal is to check progress and course correct consistently enough to get to the intended destination. Parents, teachers, or coaches can facilitate initially, but the ultimate goal is for students to evaluate their progress independently.
Self-evaluations should be balanced and consist of a brief check of the following skills: organization, time management, learning skills, and impression management. Students need to self-assess for strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats.
To evaluate a student’s progress, walk through each skill and apply the tools. For example, students can assess the strengths and weaknesses of their current study habits, as well as opportunities for growth and roadblocks that might inhibit these new habits. The same can be done for organization and time management. For impression management, students should consider how well or how poorly they control the impressions they leave on teachers, parents, and peers. Then, apply the four tools to complete a thorough analysis and course-correct as needed.
The steps laid out above focus on implementation rather than fruitless data collection. When students properly assess all four skill-sets/tools, action and implementation follow naturally. The evaluation produces the correction in one fluid motion, whether it be a minor tweak from week to week or a major overhaul to begin a new semester.
At Illuminos, we provide the customized scaffolding your child needs while he or she learns to master organization, time management, note-taking, study and test-taking skills, self-advocacy, verbal and non-verbal communication, and social skills. To learn more about executive function and how it can help your child, please read our other resources or schedule time to talk with us.
Mastering the End (Goal)
For most students, the second marking period concludes only a few weeks after returning to school from winter break in early January. Students often struggle with motivation and concentration during this final push, especially coming off a long winter break. How do we help students get over the line this marking period and set them up for continued success? Follow these goal-setting tips to help students polish off the marking period on a high note.
1) Create SMART Goals: SMART goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound. This goal framework creates a path and a system for success. SMART goals are strong and purposeful plans to help your student stay on track. Here are a few examples:
SMART GOAL: I will stay organized this semester by filing papers in the correct section of my binder as soon as I receive them. On Sunday nights, I will make sure that there are no loose papers in my backpack, room, or car.
SMART GOAL: This semester, I will write something for each class every day in my binder. “NONE is an option, but only after I have confirmed that there is absolutely nothing I could do to get ahead in this class.
SMART GOAL: During class times this semester, I will have only a notebook and a pen on my desk, so the teacher can see that I am on task and care about my success in his or her course.
2) Track your progress: SMART goals are measurable, meaning students can track their goals to turn them into habits. We know the importance of habit-tracking. Encourage your child to track goals daily and build a streak. Help them create a series of simple checklists that are short and achievable.
3) Celebrate your accomplishments: Each week as you and your child reflect on his or her progress, be proud of the small wins. Celebrate these moments because when habits are rewarded, they are continued. Create some kind of weekly ritual with your student to analyze progress and celebrate success. Recognition goes a long way.
Goals are the bedrock of success. Without a plan, it can be difficult for students to stay motivated. No matter how the last few months of the marking period have gone, these final weeks carry the seed of opportunity. Now is the time to have this conversation with your children to help them finish the marking period strong and crush their New Year’s goals!
Surviving Middle School
Written By: Isabelle Saunders
Middle school: the epitome of adjustment. New emotions, new responsibilities, new drama, new acne. You are learning who you are while juggling school work in volumes you’re not used to. For the majority of students, it is fair to say that middle school is a challenge. And challenges are often good. But something like middle school doesn’t have to be unpleasant for your child if you know how to navigate it. This is a blog for both parents and educators of new middle schoolers.
Your child is not quite on the border between childhood and adulthood. They are still a child, and this is something that should be stated up front. Though responsibility is good and beneficial in reasonable amounts, keep this in mind when placing pressure on your child.
On the other hand, middle school is a time of almost unrivaled brain growth. Your child wants a taste of independence. They want to hang out with their friends (which is highly beneficial to development!), and to get a feel for what it’s like having their own life. Parents, allow a little slack on the leash. The growth is gradual, so it’s hard to know when to give your child new freedoms, but reaching middle school is a good and clear milestone. It is advised to let students pick their own partners in class, and to encourage constructive communication among peers.
You have full control over how you treat your middle schooler.
It’s all about balance.
Be solution-based. Though you should trust your child, you should also remember that as a middle schooler, their perception may not always be the closest to reality. It’s not malicious, it’s just a matter of brain development. Don’t let them wallow in teen angst- let them confide in you, but don't let them sit around feeling sorry for themselves without trying to take necessary action.
Encourage accountability. In elementary school, your child’s teacher might have had weekly emails or sent home a pre-packed folder of homework. Things aren’t so centralized in middle school- there are more teachers, more assignments, and more variables. As much as you may like to, you will not be able to be on top of all your child’s homework. So you have to make sure they are. Instead of hovering over them and preventing independence, communicate that they need to be responsible and stay conscious of their work. If they don’t have one already, it would be beneficial to get them a planner to keep track of school deadlines and social events. Middle school is largely undocumented after the fact: it doesn’t go on any transcipts. Mistakes are okay as long as you learn from them.
You as a teacher have the opportunity for a learning experience. If you only have control over the proceedings of your class, that’s fine. Even one class makes a positive difference.
You may feel pressure to become unreasonably strict on your students. You may perceive this as helping them adjust to a stricter environment and life. But you have to acknowledge that at this age, children are individual people with their own academic and social needs. It’s not one size fits all, and it’s far more effective to treat them like people. Of course you should exercise authority when you need to, but consider this:
Would you, a child with newly raging hormones and social matters, be more willing to learn from:
A rigid adult obsessed with asserting authority who punishes students beyond reason
An understanding adult who acknowledges that you are your own person and tries to meet you where you are
Allow movement. Students should not have to sit still for hours on end if they don’t want to. Especially for ADHD students, it can prove counterintuitive when they end up being distracted by not being able to move.
Make room for choices. As aforementioned, middle school kids are looking for a little independence. While the benevolent dictatorship route may cut down on complications, it also makes kids used to having decisions made for them, which will not help their adjustment later on in life.
Middle school is a land of compromises and balance. The thing to remember as both a parent and an educator is that an understanding mindset is crucial. They’re kids, but they’re getting ready to get ready to not be that way.
Check out these sources for more information:
https://www.2peasandadog.com/2019/05/teaching-middle-school-students.html
https://www.moms.com/navigate-middle-school-years/
Top Tips for a Less Stressful College Application Process
By DC College Counseling
The college process can be overwhelming. If you’re reading this post, you probably know that already! Parents want to spend their children’s last couple of years at home enjoying time with one another… but all too often, nagging and stress about applying to college can get in the way. We have helped hundreds of families navigate through this time, and are here to offer some of our top tips for keeping your stress level down and family relationships intact!
1. Start Early
We can’t emphasize this enough! The one thing that is guaranteed to raise parent and student stress levels is rushing to get an application submitted by the deadline. At DC College Counseling, we require that our students have every application submitted a minimum of two weeks before the deadline, and most of our students actually click submit months before! https://www.dccollegecounseling.com/
If you are the parent of a junior or senior, welcome to the active part of their college admissions process! Juniors should be spending the next couple of months thinking critically about their extracurricular profiles, building their college lists, and taking advantage of those fall and winter breaks to complete college visits. After the holidays, essay work can begin! Winter and spring should involve the completion of the main college essay, initial supplemental essay work, and the compilation of content for counselor and teacher letters of recommendation.
The earlier juniors start, the more they can stretch out this work over a longer period of time. Nothing will seem particularly overwhelming this way, and everything will be done before senior year begins - eliminating the need to juggle senior-level coursework alongside college essays!
If you already have a senior and haven’t gotten very far in the process, don’t panic! Keep reading for more tips that can help your family keep the stress levels at bay.
2. Stay Organized
If you are working with an independent consultant or a dedicated school counselor, you may already have an organizational system in place to keep track of your applications (we use Asana with our students, which you can read more about on our blog). But if you are tackling this process as a family, it is critical to make sure that everyone is on the same page throughout the process. Staying organized and knowing all of the deadlines and components for each application is crucial to maintaining your sanity!
One actionable tip is to maintain one list that you can update in real time. An app like Asana or Trello can work well for this, but even a Google Sheet that both parents and students can access will work wonders here!
On a related note, it is vitally important for your student to do their research about which application components each of their schools require and when. There could be “hidden” essays that they don’t immediately see on the Common Application, or earlier deadlines for scholarship consideration that are not widely advertised. Their organizational system is only as good as the information they have, so make sure they keep track of all those deadlines and they won’t sneak up on your family!
3. Balance Your List
Every spring, our inbox fills with panicked emails from parents of seniors whose students have “no options” after admissions decisions come in. This is usually code for a student that has applied to a ton of reaches, with maybe one or two safeties that they haven’t thought too much about, or even ones that they actively do NOT want to attend.
One of the easiest ways to minimize stress is to have a balanced list that is full of schools that will make your student happy! Without a doubt, there are some fantastic, less selective schools that your student might really love to attend, and that will provide a great education.
If you’re wondering whether your student’s list is balanced, ask to see scattergrams on Naviance or Scoir (software that most high schools use to track application data from their own applicants). Parents are often shocked when they see, for example, that no student from their child’s high school has been admitted to Duke in ten years - but wouldn’t you rather know this kind of information in advance?
Doing just a bit more research up front, particularly when it comes to likely and target schools, can give your student a lot of breathing room later in the process. No matter what happens, they will have several options they love!
4. Ask for Help
Depending on your situation, your student probably has varying levels of support when it comes to the college admissions process. Some school counselors have smaller caseloads than others, some families choose to work with an educational consulting firm like ours, and some students have older siblings that just went through the process and can pass on valuable insight. No matter which camp your student falls into, it is important to make sure they have a support system and are seeking help when they need it.
If it fits your budget, bringing in some professional help can ease your stress - whether that is an educational consultant, a test prep tutor, or an essay coach. But there are plenty of free resources, too, that your student can maximize for help with the process. We particularly like the “College Admissions” course from Khan Academy, which walks students through much of what they need to know. If your student is a junior just beginning their search, we also recommend creating an account on the Princeton Review’s website and checking out YouVisit for virtual tours.
No matter who you are, don’t be afraid to ask for help and reach out to others during this time! The college admissions process can be difficult and intense, and you don’t need to go through it alone.
______________________________________________________________________________________
For more tips, check out our Less Stress Parenting webinar on Wednesday, September 29, presented by Illuminos and Staying Ahead of the Game. We hope to see you there!
How to Encourage Teens to Make Better Choices
By Dr. Cam, Family Success Coach
The other day I had this thought...
Teens are wired to establish autonomy which is why they don't like us to tell them what to do, right?
They push back.
That's because when we tell them what to do, we claim "ownership" of that choice. It becomes untouchable to our teen. It's tainted with our parenting cooties.
Even if they agree with what you say 100%, their instinct to separate themselves from you is even stronger. They must if they're ever going to move out of your house!
They are left to choose something different, which is inevitably not the "right choice."
And we get annoyed, frustrated, angry, hurt...
So, what if we didn't claim the right choice? What if we left it available so our teen could own it? Would they choose it?
Instead of telling them what to do, ask them what they think they should do. Invite them to come up with a solution.
I can't guarantee they'll get it "right" every time, but I can guarantee it's far more likely. I've tried it with my own teenager, and she chooses well most of the time (of course, sometimes we disagree on what the right choice is.)
Truth is, our teens typically know the right choice, even want to make the right choice. They crave your approval and are crushed by your criticism.
I encourage you to try it. If they were going to push back anyway, what do you have to lose?
Here's my biggest takeaway…
Teens are wired to do their own thing. When we tell them the "right" thing to do, we claim it as our choice, not theirs. If you want your teen to make the "right" choice, give them the chance to claim it.
Cameron (Dr. Cam) Caswell, PhD, the “teen translator,” is an adolescent psychologist, family success coach, host of the Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam podcast and Parenting Teens Power Hour, and is the author of Power Phrases for Parents: Teen Edition. For over a decade, she has been helping parents build strong, positive relationships with their teens through improved communication, connection, and understanding using her PRIME Parenting Method. Dr. Cam is the mom of a teen too, so she not only talks the talk, she walks the walk!
Visit Dr. Cam’s website: www.askdrcam.com
Thank you for your insightful guest blog, Don't forget to check out Wendy Weinberger's, President and COO of Illuminos Academic Coaching & Tutoring, interview with Dr.Cam on the Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam podcast. The Facebook Live podcast can be found on Dr. Cam's Facebook page.