Healthy Social Media Practices
Social media platforms give adolescents the ability to share their lives and connect with others. While adolescents describe these platforms as a way for them to connect and maintain relationships with friends and family, social media also creates environments for bullying and negativity. It is important for students to develop the impression management skills necessary to manage their online reputations.
Here are a few tips to consider when managing your impression on social media platforms:
Privacy Settings
Use them for social media, email and other accounts.
Be aware of exactly what parts of your profile and posts can be seen by the public.
Use step by step instructions to ensure the settings are on correctly.
Limit your profiles and make sure you are allowing only people you know to view your posts.
Create complex passwords and keep them to yourself. Others do not need to know your password. This is private information.
Turn off location and check in sharing.
Try not to access your accounts from other devices. You do not know who has access to the device.
Be Kind
Cyber bullying is an issue for adolescents these days and it is never ok. It is important to always treat the opinions of others with respect. If you do not agree with someone else's post, keep scrolling. There is no need to get into an argument with others on social media.
It is never ok to post hurtful or embarrassing messages on social media.
It is great to highlight positive things that are happening in your life or congratulate others on their achievements.
Think about what you post before you post it –
It is important to remember nothing ever goes away on the internet. So, before you click ‘post’ think about whether this really represents who you are.
Always think about what your family, friends, educators and future employers may think before posting.
Always take the time to think through your feelings and your thoughts before posting on specific topics.
It is always important to remember that while something may seem harmless at the time, it could come back to haunt you later on.
Keep track of posts that you have been associated with, whether you have been tagged in it or commented on it. Make sure that you maintain your reputation across all platforms.
No need to overshare–
You do not need to post about every event you attend or every food you eat. Sometimes it is more fun to just enjoy being in the moment and holding onto those memories.
While it may feel good in the short term to share personal things on social media, for example, break up, family issues etc. it is usually better to share those with an adult or a professional.
Taking the time to protect your social media accounts by using discretion with social media illustrates a certain sense of maturity. Practicing impression management through social media is a great first step.
For more information on how to best manage your impression on social media check out these links:
References:
Pew Research Center, November 2018, “Teens’ Social Media Habits and Experiences
Pew Research Center, May 2018, “Teens, Social Media & Technology 2018”
Disagreements During COVID 19
Our “new normal” has moved from school, work and exercise class schedule to spending the majority of our time indoors. We are trying to find new ways to balance work, play and study. During this time, we are trying to navigate everyone working from home. Ultimately, this is going to lead to disagreements. Although no one likes disagreements, this may be a way for us to use our communication skills and become closer with each other.
Aim for Win-Win
During a disagreement try not to focus on “winning” the conversation and look at a solution for everyone involved. In order to have a win-win situation, avoid harsh words or using someone’s sensitivities against them. When being caught up in the moment this can be easy to do. Everyone needs to be heard and that their thoughts and opinions matter.
Have a Conversation about Roles in the House
Things have been shifting in all aspects of the world lately and that may include responsibilities inside the home. Chores that may have once been done by someone is now being completed by another person. Resentment and anger can arise when we feel someone is not pulling their weight in the home. To ensure clear roles, have a conversation with everyone. Allow the children to have an input in what chores they would like to do. By reworking the responsibilities, it will allow structure in the home.
Use I Statements
When having a conversation about someone’s feelings using I statements can be very helpful. If a child is telling you that they are upset you can encourage them to say “I feel hurt because…” Using these statements reduces defensiveness from the other party and allows for better understanding. While this may seem simple, changing your language can reduce unnecessary tension.
Options
Giving children options encourages the behavior you want but allows them to have a sense of control. This will show your child value and to choose responsibly in the future. Recently, their access to several choices has been limited due to the outside world. However, that gives us the chance to continue to give them choices. Consistency with choices is crucial and the key is to give your child multiple “correct” options to choose from. Thus, overriding the self-determination gene that tends to kick in during adolescence.
Tips for a Successful Interview
Over time, for one reason or another students are going to have to interview. Whether the student is interviewing for a job or college admissions interview skills are crucial to success. Being able to interview well is all about impression management. We teach our students to manage their impressions they leave on others. The real world is all about social connections and how you present yourself to others is extremely important.
It is becoming increasingly key to have strong interview skills even as a high school student. Teaching these skills is sometimes difficult because most resources are geared towards adults. However, we have come up with an easy process to follow to help your student feel confident going into an interview.
Managing the first impression
Did you know it takes just seven seconds for a first impression to form?
Make sure you look your best, dress nicely in clean clothes without rips or stains. Make sure your clothes fit appropriately and are not wrinkled. This is a great initial way to show the interviewer that you are taking the interview seriously.
It is better to be overdressed than underdressed.
Make sure that you communicate appropriately before the interview via email or over the phone. Writing an effective email or speaking professionally over the phone is a crucial part of landing the interview in the first place.
Punctuality is a major concern for employers and late arrival will often lower your chances of landing the job. Always try to arrive five to fifteen minutes early to your interview. Even if you have to wait, it shows you take the potential position seriously.
Maintaining a good impression
Introduce yourself and shake hands with the interviewer. Smile, speak clearly, and make eye contact.
Be prepared to answer questions about your skills, personality, and past experiences. It is important to be prepared to discuss why you are interested in the job and why you would be a good fit. Employers want to hire employees who show a positive attitude and are truly interested in the work they will be doing. The same goes for college interviews. If you don’t seem interested in their school, they may not want to admit you, even if you have all the qualifications. Before the interview, ask a parent or friend to ask you mock questions so you are prepared for the interview.
Make sure you practice sitting up straight and having your hands placed in your lap. This will allow it to be natural on the day of.
Make sure to put your phone on silent and out of eye sight. Resist the temptation to check your phone at any time when you are in view of the interviewer. Employers are very concerned about losing productivity among employees who are constantly checking their phones.
Employers want upbeat workers who don’t bring a negative attitude to the job. Showing your good attitude in the interview will help you land the position. The same rule applies for admissions interviews and volunteer or internship opportunities.
Reflect the three Cs during the interview: cool, calm, and confident.
Following up
This is the time to really show your manners. After your interview, make sure to send a short email or make a quick phone call to thank your interviewer for taking the time to meet/talk with you and be sure to mention that you are excited about the opportunity to work at the company. Use correct grammar and punctuation to show your skill set.
Impression management is a skill that will carry students throughout their lives and teaching it now will help them prepare for their future. Our academic coaches teach students about the importance of utilizing resources such as teachers, counselors, advisors, parents, peers, etc. to maximize their success. They will also work with students on preparing their resumes, as well as discussing and preparing for interviews, this may include interview role play and critiquing. Give us a call for more information!
11 Ways to Help Students Relieve Stress During COVID-19
Here are 11 ways to relieve stress during this time:
1. Establish Routines
Begin each day at the same time. For consistency, have your student wake up at 8:00 each morning, get dressed and have breakfast. This should feel like a relaxed environment to set the tone. Have a plan for how the day will look regarding school work and free time. The most crucial part of a student’s routine is their sleep. Stick to normal bedtime routines.
2. Food for the Brain
What we put inside of our bodies plays a crucial role in how we fuel our brain. Some great food to fuel our brains are fish, berries, nuts and whole grains.
3. Prioritize
Preparing students with their biggest task of the day first will help decrease anxiety as the day progresses.
4. Movement
Our students are used to moving around all day, even if that means walking from one class to another. However, right now we need to create movement for them. Such as, transitioning from one subject to another, stretching or running in place. Exercise reduces stress hormones and releases endorphins.
5. Stay Present
It is easy while being home to allow our minds to drift. Try some breathing and grounding exercises to help remain focused.
6. Don’t Forget about Breaks
Make sure when you are creating your schedule you set your timer and take breaks.
7. Find ways to Disconnect
It is so easy to get lost on our phones either surfing the internet or talking to friends. However, it is important to find times to get away from the screen and interact with family.
8. Stay Active
Social distancing is in effect but that does not mean you have to stay inside all day. Go in your backyard, go for a run or try an in-home workout.
9. Dedicate a Work Space
With both parents and students at home it may be difficult to get work done. Create a space that is dedicated only to work!
10. Dress for Success
Studies have shown that the way we dress affects the way our day flows. For example, if you are dressed in pajamas all day it is going to make you feel relaxed and unable to complete work. Students should wear clothing that they would wear to school to set the tone.
11. Be Intentional
With working from home, it has allowed for a lot of free time. Be intentional during this time. This means, reviewing material for difficult subjects, preparing for high school/college essays and standardized tests.
How to Support Your Student from Home
We are now in a new phase of life where “work from home” is the new “normal.” This can cause a great deal of anxiety and difficulty focusing. We are a routine driven society and now that our routines have been “thrown out the window” a lack of focus is expected. However, there are ways to help with regaining focus and attention, whether students have learning differences like ADHD or not.
As a parent or educator, it is essential to develop habits and routines to allow students to perform their best. Please see below for tips on how to help your student stay focused and support them during difficult times.
Think about your feelings working from home and the challenges and uncertainty it has brought up for you. Allow yourself to express that with your student which will encourage them to tell you how they feel. Empathizing with them and helping them feel understood will allow them to come up with a solution with your guidance.
Here are a few things we we recommend:
Set a routine and schedule for every day. Have this posted where the student is working as well as other places in the home to ensure they stay on schedule.
Sometimes time can “get away” from us. Help them use a visual timer to be mindful of their time.
Have all their materials ready and in reach.
Allow short breaks frequently.
Give clear instructions on your expectations.
Break projects into smaller, more manageable chunks.
Always stay calm and encouraging, we are all trying to navigate this tough time and it is overwhelming for everyone. When giving feedback ensure it is always positive which will help with motivation. Use phrases such as:
“I see how hard you are trying. You can do this.”
“Let’s set the timer. I am looking forward to seeing how it turns out when you are finished.”
This time gives us the opportunity to practice and strengthen their executive functioning skills. With our guidance and leadership, they are becoming more independent by completing things on their own. Since children are not born with these skills, the adults in their lives create the opportunities and environment to practice these skills. We hope this advice helps you support your students. For more information on finding a one-on-one academic coach, please visit our website.
What are Executive Functioning Skills?
Written by: Coach Lauren Bachand
Executive functioning skills are those higher cognitive skills that are required to successfully plan and carry out various actions during the day. They include attention, planning, prioritizing, and organization. They are used for memory, reflection, and inhibition control. But what exactly is the big deal with executive functioning? And why get a tutor that focuses specifically on planning and organization instead of your child’s “problem” subjects and poor grades?
Well to start, the reason for academic failure normally has little to do with a lack of understanding the information and more to do with the processing and storing of the information. Executive functioning skills, or EF for short, are those skills controlled by the frontal lobe of the brain. This is the last part of the brain to develop and mature, but it is also the most influenced during childhood development. Just like academic subjects in school, EF skills are learned, however they are not necessarily intuitive.
Let’s take a look at our lives as adults to help conceptualize what they are, and role our EF skills play in our daily lives.
For many of us, our day actually starts the night before. We might set an alarm, or check to ensure our alarm is set for the right time. (And, if you are anything like me- set a second, and a third. Just in case.) The next morning when you wake up, you prioritize the first things to do without much thought. Maybe one child struggles with getting up in the morning, or has to be to school earlier than the others, so you wake them first. You get dressed, set out breakfast, create your children’s lunches, or pull aside cash for hot meals. When you arrive at work you check your emails. You effortlessly categorize and prioritize which ones to answer before your 10 o’clock meeting. That afternoon you use Google Maps to determine the best route to get to your children’s school in time for pickup. You notice there is an accident, adjust your route and call the school to let them know you may be late. Once you arrive home you realize you are out of milk and write a memo to pick more up the next day. You look in the pantry, problem-solve, and cook dinner. You usher your children to bed, and then it is time to start all over again.
As an adult, you used your EF skills naturally and unconsciously. You adapt, problem-solve, and overcome obstacles with little second-thought. A child, especially once with learning differences which create EF deficits, may run into numerous bumps in the road during your day. They might forget to set their alarm the night before and wake up late, take too long answering emails and miss the morning meeting, see an accident on the route and not adjust or call the school to warn about being late, or they might forget to write the memo for milk.
If we were to translate this information to your child’s everyday life in an academic setting, you might notice that they forget to write down the deadline for an upcoming project. They might spend too long working on a homework worksheet that is only worth five points, instead of studying for a test that is worth 50 points. They might pick a topic to research that is too challenging, but they do not adjust the subject or ask the teacher for help. Or, they might forget to bring their textbooks home to complete their homework.
While your child’s academic coach will work with them on developing these skills during their sessions, it is also important they are developed daily around the house. So what are some things you can do to help your child develop and mature their EF skills, maximizing their future success? Well, to start the best (and easiest) way is to model the behavior yourself.
Here are four easy ideas to do together with your child:
Create a wall calendar for you and your child
Calendars are a great way for anyone to stay organized and on top of their game. It is the perfect way to foster planning, time management, scheduling skills, and foresight.
Begin with buying one large dry erase calendar (22in by 18in) for yourself and one for your child. These can be found on Amazon. Then, set aside one night at the end of the month, like the last Sunday, to sit with your child and schedule out the month in advance. Add work deadlines, appointments, and reminders on your calendar, while encouraging your child to fill in the deadlines for large assignments, tests, and extracurricular activities such as sports practices and tournaments on theirs. Then, create the habit of marking off each day together before going to bed. Children are visual learners, and being able to see approaching deadlines help them prioritize and schedule appropriately.
Create a nightly checklist for you and your child
Checklists are a great way to foster organization and other skills needed to prioritize tasks. It provides a sense of accomplishment, and help reduce stress and anxiety.
Begin by having you and your child create two or three goals you would like to complete by the end of the next day. These goals can be work/academic related, or they can be broader goals like remembering to wash the dishes or making a doctors appointment. At the end of each day, sit with your child and mark off which goals were met. For goals that weren’t met, ask questions such as “what prevented me from doing this goal today?” This tip can be used to foster a sense of accomplishment, be used as an incentive for “screen time” or another “fun” activity your child enjoys. If you and your child are competitive, this can become a fun game to see who can complete all of their goals each day.
Set out clothes for the next morning with your child
Preparing for the morning the night before fosters skills related to time management and organization. It reduces stress, anxiety, and frustration during morning routines.
Begin by checking the next day’s weather with your child. Now, with smartphones and in-home devices such as Alexa and Google Home- this step couldn’t get any simpler. Once you have determined the weather, work with your child to put aside an outfit. If your child has a uniform, this is the time for them to ensure all of the parts are washed and accounted for. If your child does not have a uniform, this is their chance to put together a cohesive, dress-code and weather appropriate outfit that matches their personality. While they put aside their outfit, you also have the chance to ensure you have everything you need for the next morning, potentially putting a small load in the washer and dryer before bed or ironing a pair of slacks. Once each of your outfits are picked out, you can each place them on the back of the bedroom doors using a hook.
Involve your child in cooking or meal preps
Cooking uses every EF skill there is. It fosters organizational, time management, working memory, and attention skills. Children must learn to use foresight and create grocery lists, gather and organize ingredients, time manage and prioritize what to cook when based on varying cook times, and attend tasks while cooking. Even better, it develops self-confidence in your child and a sense of accomplishment when they serve the meal to the family.
Begin by scheduling one day a week that your child is responsible for making dinner. I encourage parents to have their child make dinner since it is a meal the entire family can enjoy together. Once the day has been scheduled, help your child select meals you know they can accomplish with minimal assistance. Encourage your child to do as much of the meal independently as possible. These do not have to be complicated meals. Spaghetti with meat sauce, club sandwiches, baked ziti, hotdogs, or hamburgers are all examples of simple meals children can create with minimal assistance.
For more information about Executive Functioning, click here: https://www.understood.org/en/learning-attention-issues/child-learning-disabilities/executive-functioning-issues/3-areas-of-executive-function