Surviving Middle School
Written By: Isabelle Saunders
Middle school: the epitome of adjustment. New emotions, new responsibilities, new drama, new acne. You are learning who you are while juggling school work in volumes you’re not used to. For the majority of students, it is fair to say that middle school is a challenge. And challenges are often good. But something like middle school doesn’t have to be unpleasant for your child if you know how to navigate it. This is a blog for both parents and educators of new middle schoolers.
Your child is not quite on the border between childhood and adulthood. They are still a child, and this is something that should be stated up front. Though responsibility is good and beneficial in reasonable amounts, keep this in mind when placing pressure on your child.
On the other hand, middle school is a time of almost unrivaled brain growth. Your child wants a taste of independence. They want to hang out with their friends (which is highly beneficial to development!), and to get a feel for what it’s like having their own life. Parents, allow a little slack on the leash. The growth is gradual, so it’s hard to know when to give your child new freedoms, but reaching middle school is a good and clear milestone. It is advised to let students pick their own partners in class, and to encourage constructive communication among peers.
You have full control over how you treat your middle schooler.
It’s all about balance.
Be solution-based. Though you should trust your child, you should also remember that as a middle schooler, their perception may not always be the closest to reality. It’s not malicious, it’s just a matter of brain development. Don’t let them wallow in teen angst- let them confide in you, but don't let them sit around feeling sorry for themselves without trying to take necessary action.
Encourage accountability. In elementary school, your child’s teacher might have had weekly emails or sent home a pre-packed folder of homework. Things aren’t so centralized in middle school- there are more teachers, more assignments, and more variables. As much as you may like to, you will not be able to be on top of all your child’s homework. So you have to make sure they are. Instead of hovering over them and preventing independence, communicate that they need to be responsible and stay conscious of their work. If they don’t have one already, it would be beneficial to get them a planner to keep track of school deadlines and social events. Middle school is largely undocumented after the fact: it doesn’t go on any transcipts. Mistakes are okay as long as you learn from them.
You as a teacher have the opportunity for a learning experience. If you only have control over the proceedings of your class, that’s fine. Even one class makes a positive difference.
You may feel pressure to become unreasonably strict on your students. You may perceive this as helping them adjust to a stricter environment and life. But you have to acknowledge that at this age, children are individual people with their own academic and social needs. It’s not one size fits all, and it’s far more effective to treat them like people. Of course you should exercise authority when you need to, but consider this:
Would you, a child with newly raging hormones and social matters, be more willing to learn from:
A rigid adult obsessed with asserting authority who punishes students beyond reason
An understanding adult who acknowledges that you are your own person and tries to meet you where you are
Allow movement. Students should not have to sit still for hours on end if they don’t want to. Especially for ADHD students, it can prove counterintuitive when they end up being distracted by not being able to move.
Make room for choices. As aforementioned, middle school kids are looking for a little independence. While the benevolent dictatorship route may cut down on complications, it also makes kids used to having decisions made for them, which will not help their adjustment later on in life.
Middle school is a land of compromises and balance. The thing to remember as both a parent and an educator is that an understanding mindset is crucial. They’re kids, but they’re getting ready to get ready to not be that way.
Check out these sources for more information:
https://www.2peasandadog.com/2019/05/teaching-middle-school-students.html
https://www.moms.com/navigate-middle-school-years/
Top Tips for a Less Stressful College Application Process
By DC College Counseling
The college process can be overwhelming. If you’re reading this post, you probably know that already! Parents want to spend their children’s last couple of years at home enjoying time with one another… but all too often, nagging and stress about applying to college can get in the way. We have helped hundreds of families navigate through this time, and are here to offer some of our top tips for keeping your stress level down and family relationships intact!
1. Start Early
We can’t emphasize this enough! The one thing that is guaranteed to raise parent and student stress levels is rushing to get an application submitted by the deadline. At DC College Counseling, we require that our students have every application submitted a minimum of two weeks before the deadline, and most of our students actually click submit months before! https://www.dccollegecounseling.com/
If you are the parent of a junior or senior, welcome to the active part of their college admissions process! Juniors should be spending the next couple of months thinking critically about their extracurricular profiles, building their college lists, and taking advantage of those fall and winter breaks to complete college visits. After the holidays, essay work can begin! Winter and spring should involve the completion of the main college essay, initial supplemental essay work, and the compilation of content for counselor and teacher letters of recommendation.
The earlier juniors start, the more they can stretch out this work over a longer period of time. Nothing will seem particularly overwhelming this way, and everything will be done before senior year begins - eliminating the need to juggle senior-level coursework alongside college essays!
If you already have a senior and haven’t gotten very far in the process, don’t panic! Keep reading for more tips that can help your family keep the stress levels at bay.
2. Stay Organized
If you are working with an independent consultant or a dedicated school counselor, you may already have an organizational system in place to keep track of your applications (we use Asana with our students, which you can read more about on our blog). But if you are tackling this process as a family, it is critical to make sure that everyone is on the same page throughout the process. Staying organized and knowing all of the deadlines and components for each application is crucial to maintaining your sanity!
One actionable tip is to maintain one list that you can update in real time. An app like Asana or Trello can work well for this, but even a Google Sheet that both parents and students can access will work wonders here!
On a related note, it is vitally important for your student to do their research about which application components each of their schools require and when. There could be “hidden” essays that they don’t immediately see on the Common Application, or earlier deadlines for scholarship consideration that are not widely advertised. Their organizational system is only as good as the information they have, so make sure they keep track of all those deadlines and they won’t sneak up on your family!
3. Balance Your List
Every spring, our inbox fills with panicked emails from parents of seniors whose students have “no options” after admissions decisions come in. This is usually code for a student that has applied to a ton of reaches, with maybe one or two safeties that they haven’t thought too much about, or even ones that they actively do NOT want to attend.
One of the easiest ways to minimize stress is to have a balanced list that is full of schools that will make your student happy! Without a doubt, there are some fantastic, less selective schools that your student might really love to attend, and that will provide a great education.
If you’re wondering whether your student’s list is balanced, ask to see scattergrams on Naviance or Scoir (software that most high schools use to track application data from their own applicants). Parents are often shocked when they see, for example, that no student from their child’s high school has been admitted to Duke in ten years - but wouldn’t you rather know this kind of information in advance?
Doing just a bit more research up front, particularly when it comes to likely and target schools, can give your student a lot of breathing room later in the process. No matter what happens, they will have several options they love!
4. Ask for Help
Depending on your situation, your student probably has varying levels of support when it comes to the college admissions process. Some school counselors have smaller caseloads than others, some families choose to work with an educational consulting firm like ours, and some students have older siblings that just went through the process and can pass on valuable insight. No matter which camp your student falls into, it is important to make sure they have a support system and are seeking help when they need it.
If it fits your budget, bringing in some professional help can ease your stress - whether that is an educational consultant, a test prep tutor, or an essay coach. But there are plenty of free resources, too, that your student can maximize for help with the process. We particularly like the “College Admissions” course from Khan Academy, which walks students through much of what they need to know. If your student is a junior just beginning their search, we also recommend creating an account on the Princeton Review’s website and checking out YouVisit for virtual tours.
No matter who you are, don’t be afraid to ask for help and reach out to others during this time! The college admissions process can be difficult and intense, and you don’t need to go through it alone.
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For more tips, check out our Less Stress Parenting webinar on Wednesday, September 29, presented by Illuminos and Staying Ahead of the Game. We hope to see you there!
How to Encourage Teens to Make Better Choices
By Dr. Cam, Family Success Coach
The other day I had this thought...
Teens are wired to establish autonomy which is why they don't like us to tell them what to do, right?
They push back.
That's because when we tell them what to do, we claim "ownership" of that choice. It becomes untouchable to our teen. It's tainted with our parenting cooties.
Even if they agree with what you say 100%, their instinct to separate themselves from you is even stronger. They must if they're ever going to move out of your house!
They are left to choose something different, which is inevitably not the "right choice."
And we get annoyed, frustrated, angry, hurt...
So, what if we didn't claim the right choice? What if we left it available so our teen could own it? Would they choose it?
Instead of telling them what to do, ask them what they think they should do. Invite them to come up with a solution.
I can't guarantee they'll get it "right" every time, but I can guarantee it's far more likely. I've tried it with my own teenager, and she chooses well most of the time (of course, sometimes we disagree on what the right choice is.)
Truth is, our teens typically know the right choice, even want to make the right choice. They crave your approval and are crushed by your criticism.
I encourage you to try it. If they were going to push back anyway, what do you have to lose?
Here's my biggest takeaway…
Teens are wired to do their own thing. When we tell them the "right" thing to do, we claim it as our choice, not theirs. If you want your teen to make the "right" choice, give them the chance to claim it.
Cameron (Dr. Cam) Caswell, PhD, the “teen translator,” is an adolescent psychologist, family success coach, host of the Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam podcast and Parenting Teens Power Hour, and is the author of Power Phrases for Parents: Teen Edition. For over a decade, she has been helping parents build strong, positive relationships with their teens through improved communication, connection, and understanding using her PRIME Parenting Method. Dr. Cam is the mom of a teen too, so she not only talks the talk, she walks the walk!
Visit Dr. Cam’s website: www.askdrcam.com
Thank you for your insightful guest blog, Don't forget to check out Wendy Weinberger's, President and COO of Illuminos Academic Coaching & Tutoring, interview with Dr.Cam on the Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam podcast. The Facebook Live podcast can be found on Dr. Cam's Facebook page.
The Best Investment You Can Make For Your Teen
By Dr. Cam, Family Success Coach
Your teenager’s most fundamental need is to feel loved by YOU. When your child feels unconditionally loved by you he is better equipped to handle the bumpy road of adolescence.
You’re probably thinking, “Of course I love my teen. She knows that!” But you may be surprised. Your teen needs constant, consistent affirmation of your love. More importantly, your positive interactions with your teen must outweigh the negative.
Think of it like a bank account that takes relational currency.
Relational currency is an act or statement that expresses love, care, or concern for another person. Every time you show your teen affection, it’s like making a deposit into his account. The more deposits you make, the more he'll feel connected and supported by you, even during difficult times.
On the other side of the coin, every negative interaction is a withdrawal.
If you withdraw more than you deposit, you deplete your teen’s account, leaving your teen feeling abandoned and unloved. Instead of expressing that to you, she may misbehave, act out at school, have a tantrum, or rebel. This turns opportunities for connection into power struggles, which leave everyone angry and discouraged. That leads to even more negative interaction.
The goal is to keep your teen’s emotional account as full as possible. That way, when the inevitable clash arises, your teen has enough relational currency to cover it.
When you keep your teen’s emotional bank account full, you're able to form a stronger connection between the two of you. A strong connection leads to better communication, deeper understanding, and will drastically improve your relationship with your teen.
The more you invest new, the more your teen will prosper later.
Cameron (Dr. Cam) Caswell, PhD, the “teen translator,” is an adolescent psychologist, family success coach, host of the Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam podcast and Parenting Teens Power Hour, and is the author of Power Phrases for Parents: Teen Edition. For over a decade, she has been helping parents build strong, positive relationships with their teens through improved communication, connection, and understanding using her PRIME Parenting Method. Dr. Cam is the mom of a teen too, so she not only talks the talk, she walks the walk!
Visit Dr. Cam’s website: www.askdrcam.com
Thank you for your insightful guest blog, Dr. Cam. Don't forget to join Wendy Weinberger, President and COO of Illuminos Academic Coaching & Tutoring, as she speaks with Dr.Cam on the Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam podcast. Tune in via Facebook Live (on Dr. Cam's Facebook page) at 9:30am EST on Tuesday, August 3. Then, join Illuminos and Staying Ahead of the Game on Monday, August 9, at 12pm EST for Dr. Cam discussing "3 Secrets to Communicating with Your Teen." Register for this free "Less Stress" Parenting discussion by clicking here.
Importance of Executive Function Skills
Written By: Isabelle Saunders
There’s no debate that school is a world-class juggling act: you’ve got extracurriculars, homework, your social life, studying- it can be a lot to handle. The older you get, the more important it is to develop executive functioning skills. Executive functioning is, quite simply, the skill instrumental in academic success. It’s been boiled down by educators to seven attainable attributes:
Adaptable thinking: ie, flexibility. As challenging as it may be, you have to keep trooping when you encounter a problem. Adapt to problems- find a way around them and exercise your problem-solving muscles. It’s an asset to accept the fact that what you think won’t always be right, and you have to be open to new ideas and ways of accomplishing things.
Planning: Foresight is nothing short of necessity. Whether it’s mapping out a busy week or setting up your after-school routine, planning cuts your to-do list into bite-sized pieces that you can visualize and accomplish. Planning out a project before you do it gives you a template do that you go into it with rhyme and reason instead of blindly hacking away at it.
Self-Monitoring: Introspection and self-evaluation! Only you know what your personal best is, and only you can make sure you’re giving it. Self-monitoring is to grasp what you’re doing wrong and have the agency to pivot to another strategy. It’s to realize how you’re doing on the task at hand, and to know how to improve.
Self-Control: To keep a firm grip on your emotions and behavior is crucial in any social setting. You have to be okay with receiving constructive criticism, and to keep trekking when something undesirable happens. A good way to maintain self-control is not to take school feedback to heart: what a teacher thinks about your essay is not a reflection on what they think of your character. And besides, you are fully capable of taking that criticism in stride and improving.
Working Memory: Sherlock Holmes always referred to his memory as a mind palace. Think of all this acquired knowledge like that: you’re storing away information to bring out and out to use later. Some of us have better memories than others, and that’s okay. If you’re someone with a naturally poor memory and nothing seems to help, no matter how closely you pay attention, there are ways to work with that. A few possibilities are to take detailed notes, try using mnemonic devices for memory, and use flashcards for a deeper form of concept association.
Time Management: This one’s for the chronic procrastinators. Time is a force that should be filled wisely. To get anything done, you have to be time-aware enough to do it. Be it in the classroom or at home, time won’t stop for you to complete your work.
Organization: For some of us, organization comes naturally. For others, it’s a learning process. Keeping your binders, desk, locker, and other school supplies neat and organized is the key to enhanced concentration and lowered stress levels. Is that last week’s math homework, Tuesday’s notes, or the drawing you made during lunch? No one wants to navigate their way through a storm of mixed papers- the front pocket in your binder is best used for current work only.
An anagram to remember these concepts is:
Adaptable thinking
Introspection
Retain information
Planning
Organization
Self-control
Time management
Responsibility and self-advocacy are not traits that sprout overnight. Like every other skill, they have to develop and be put into practice. The attributes covered, of course, don’t just apply to school: they’re necessary for a well-rounded and capable person.
COVID 19 and Summer School
Written By: Isabelle Saunders
By now, it’s a known fact that distance learning is not nearly as effective as being in a classroom. For students constrained to homebound learning through the 2020-21 school year in addition to the last quarter of last year, this has been a frustrating season fraught with unorthodox challenges. The majority of students feel that they haven’t learned much at all, and have lost over a year of information. How, comes the question, will they catch up for next year?
Rising necessity of summer school
In response, there has been a mass exodus to summer school. Though it’s currently too early to tell how many people will sign up this year, smaller-scale examples indicate the sheer volume of students who feel they have a shaky understanding of concepts learned from home. Montgomery, Alabama, for instance, has an average count of 2,500 for summer school in past years. This year, over 12,000 of their school system’s 28,000 students signed up. With public schools opening up for in-person learning, these students can finally get face-to-face education for the first time since March 2020. It may take some getting used to after so long at home, but students are elated to be back to normal.
New Improvements
And like most things this year, summer school is not going to be normal. This time, however, that means in a good way- across the country, the school system has given teachers hefty raises for all the hard work they’re going to have to put in this summer. The most recent federal relief package has also funneled several billion dollars into summer school programs. With these new fortifications, educators agree that summer school 2021 will be better and more intensive than past years by a wide margin in order to meet the significant needs of the student body.
Meeting Need
Though policies vary from state to state, many are prioritizing the needs of students who were hit the hardest. This includes disadvantaged, disabled, and ESL children. Some school districts have opted for mandatory summer school for those who have fallen behind. With the recent relief package, many districts are able to provide meals and transportation for their students. Though educators are not so naive as to think that better quality summer education will patch every learning gap acquired over distance learning or before it, they are optimistic that it will at least give students a much better understanding and send them into next year with a foundation.
In the past, summer school has been stigmatized as a thing of doom to students, something many would never willingly do. Now, however, many students are making the mature decision themselves to catch up as much as possible. Teachers plan to meet students where they are, and take a more personalized approach depending on each child’s unique needs. Since they themselves battled the frustrations of online learning, they empathize with their struggling students. This year’s summer school, it seems, will be a thing to behold.
Is summer school a good option for your child?
If you’re thinking about signing your child up for summer school, you should first evaluate how they performed over distance learning. If their grades and understanding dropped a worrying amount, summer school is a great, free option to mend the rips as much as possible before next year. Consult your child on the matter as well- for those who haven’t been in a classroom for over a year, it may be in their best interest to be socialized over the summer. This poses an edifying opportunity to meet new people, reconnect with school friends, and get a feel for being back in a solid school setting.
For more information, check out the link below:
https://apnews.com/article/us-news-coronavirus-pandemic-education-health-a0416b3d43e08f49879b0f0e93010113
Importance of Self Awareness
Written By: Isabelle Saunders
It’s easy to pick out someone’s characteristics when you’re watching them through your own eyes. You know your friend is a natural leader, or a pessimist, or can’t take anything seriously, and so on. But it’s harder to tell when it’s YOU. For some reason, it just proves more difficult to categorize our strengths, weaknesses, values, etc., because they’re the only ones we're used to having.
This is what makes self-awareness a challenge. Self awareness, to put it simply, is knowing yourself- being conscious of your own thoughts, feelings, strengths, and limitations. It’s an asset in communicating with others and pinpointing how you think. Clearly, it’s a pretty important attribute to have in a school setting, but it’s also invaluable for life in general.
“To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom.”
-Socrates
The importance of self-awareness
Here’s a scenario: you’re in a lecture-style class, meaning the teacher is primarily talking. No matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to make the information stick. That “the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell” goes in one ear and right out the other. That’s because you’re not an auditory learner- you can’t easily retain information just by hearing it said. This is one of many possible examples that goes to show why academic self-awareness is necessary. If you don’t know these things about yourself, you’ll wonder what’s wrong when you have trouble in a setting outside of your strengths. With self-awareness in your inventory, you’ll be able to set yourself up for success by utilizing your unique skill set in a problem. You’ll be able to pick out where you want to see improvements, empowering you to meet your goals and grow as a student and individual. Self-awareness isn’t just something students need. It’s a universal human necessity.
So...how?
Gaining self-awareness is about listening to yourself. Let yourself think coherently, and pay attention to the tone of your inner voice.
Pay attention to others. Other people see you, just like you see them. When with your peers, try to analyze their unique personalities. It will help to familiarize you with the concept of every person as having distinct habits and complexities.
Personality tests. Yes, really. Tests such as the enneagram and MBTI are a treasure trove of personal insight. The questions will help you analyze yourself as a complex person. They put into words your social-emotional makeup, and warn you of limitations you possibly haven’t yet taken mind of.
MBTI: https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test
Enneagram:
Be receptive to constructive criticism
When someone offers you (well-meaning) constructive criticism, don’t just dismiss it. Try to see where they’re coming from, use it to better understand yourself and your weaknesses, and step towards growth.
Benefits
Social: A huge part of school is communicating with other people. This goes on to benefit things such as job interviews and presentations as well. When you are knowledgeable of yourself as a person, you have some insight as to how you come off to others. Maybe what you intended to be strong leadership can be seen as bossy. In any case, you’ll become more aware of how others interact with you, and you can use this sensitivity and empathy to strengthen your relationships with your peers.
Academic: As aforementioned, you’ll know how you best learn, and how you tend to manage work. If you know you tend to procrastinate, you can work to combat it. If you know you tend to bite off more extra-curriculars than you can chew, you can find a way to regulate it.
Personal: It’s so important to understand your emotions. It’s essential to your emotional maturity that you learn not to repress what you feel, but to be able to grasp and analyze it. You can master what you’re good at, work on what you struggle with, and understand your limits.
Check out the sites below for more information!
https://nickwignall.com/self-awareness/
Understanding An ADHD Student
Written By: Isabelle Saunders
School is a primarily concentration-based institution: if you don’t pay attention, you’re likely to get lost quickly. Though many students are able to retain information taught to them in the standard class-lecture form, children with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) will often have a much more challenging time with this. They have difficulty paying attention and sitting still, which are integral aspects of the typical classroom. Educators, if your ADHD students are wrestling with an inability to focus or track in class, it’s important that you do everything you can to make sure they’re not left behind. If you yourself don’t have ADHD, however, it may be a bit hard to know where to start.
What helps an ADHD student may vary depending on the child, so it’s important to get in touch with them and/or their parents about what best works for them. However, these are some universally helpful ways to work with the symptoms of ADHD.
Understanding
The first step to teaching your ADHD student is understanding how their brain works. Know that their possible lack of concentration in class or tendency to forget assignments is not a simple disinclination- it’s not from lack of trying. Their mind is just wired a bit differently, and they’re still able and eager to retain information, but maybe in a way at odds with your method of teaching.
Approaches
Movement: A symptom of ADHD is the need to be moving. If you allow them time to shake out the pins and needles, they’re likely to be better able to focus their attention on the subject at hand. Recess, of course, is the most obvious way to accommodate this, but after a certain age, recess is no longer included in most school schedules. In addition to or instead of recess, consider allotting time (say, a 5-minute break) for your students to move around and stretch. Try planning kinesthetic lessons that channel movement into learning and memory. Another idea is to let your ADHD students stand during lessons, if they so desire. If your class’ desks are arranged in rows, it’s easy to let them stand in the back.
While fidget toys, such as fidget cubes, have been labeled by many teachers as merely distracting to the user, they actually help with ADHD. Little movements, such as knee-bouncing or pencil-tapping, are a way to channel the extra energy into one motion. By permitting objects such as fidget cubes, you are giving your students a way to keep their hands moving in a way that’s quiet and not distracting to anyone.
Organization: ADHD students may have trouble keeping track of many assignments at once, so organization is vital. Most classes have a binder where all notes and assignments are kept, so check in with your student to make sure their binder is kept neat and it’s easy to find their work. They’ll need dividers to separate old homework, notes, quizzes, etc. Apart from the binders, try suggesting a separate folder for to-be-completed homework. This is a good space for more immediate objectives, and they won’t have as many binders from different subjects to remember to take home. It’s also a good idea for them to keep an academic planner where they can write down assignments and due dates as soon as you say them.
We all learn differently, and those with ADHD are no exception. Remember to give your ADHD students positive reinforcement when they’re doing well: sitting through lessons takes a lot of effort and energy on their part, and hearing that you notice the work they’re putting in will be a huge encouragement. Be patient, and know that you’re not trying to combat the symptoms of ADHD; you’re working off of them. They don’t take away a student’s ability to learn- they merely make them learn in different ways.
To learn more, check out the links below:
https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/school-success.html
College Readiness and Academic Self-Advocacy
Written By: Laura Lorenzen, MSW and Andrea Malkin Brenner, PhD
Anticipating the transition from high school to college can feel overwhelming for parents and teens, and especially so for teens with executive functioning challenges. Simply possessing strong academic competence is not enough to thrive in college. Students need strong academic self-advocacy skills in order to successfully navigate this life-changing transition.
For parents, approaching the shift from high school to college as a gradual process of moving your child from dependence to independence -- and beginning this process well before the transition to college -- can make this change far less daunting..
Understanding the differences between high school parenting and college parenting
You may be communicating closely with your child’s high school, discussing everything from the accommodations your child needs to their grades and even their homework assignments. Colleges, however, are prohibited by law from providing parents with any information regarding student accommodations, grades, or academic progress.
While students who have a diagnosed disability such as ADHD, a learning disability, or autism, are able to obtain accommodations in college, parents are not part of this process. Your child is viewed as an autonomous adult by the college and will need to independently ask for help, seek campus resources, and request learning accommodations.
Parents whose children have executive functioning challenges often provide support in other ways. You may currently help your child stay on top of homework assignments, manage time, and plan out when and how long-term assignments will be completed -- or work closely with your child’s teacher to do so. In college, that type of support can be provided by academic support staff or through the campus tutoring center, but your child will need to seek it out.
Steps you can take now to prepare your child for the transition to college
It’s never too early (or too late) to start preparing your child for this transition. There are a number of essential skills your child will need and that you can help them learn.
Ensure your child understands and can talk about their learning needs and the accommodations they will require to succeed in college.
Openly include your child in discussions about their needs and ask for their perspective on what tools help them learn.
Ensure your child can identify and seek out sources of information and help. Many teens are not familiar or comfortable independently asking for help; this is a critical skill that takes time and practice to master. Help your child practice this skill now, so that they are comfortable self-advocating later.
Build your child’s capacity to independently problem-solve and make sound decisions. Ask how they would solve a problem that arises, and help them think through the pros and cons of their solution.
Before they enter the college setting, allow your child to try and fail, as long as no lasting harm would occur from that failure. This will give your child crucial practice and an opportunity to safely learn from their mistakes.
Though it might be tempting to jump in to iron out difficulties your child is having, they’ll learn more and be better prepared for the future if instead they are guided and supported to find answers and solve problems on their own. Helping your child take charge of their academics doesn’t mean they have to do it alone. With the right self-advocacy skills, your child will be able to request accommodations in college, find needed campus resources, and comfortably ask for help -- the critical skills they will need to thrive on their own.
For more information about this topic, join us for our upcoming webinar:
College Readiness: Your Neurodiverse Teen and Academic Self-Advocacy
Tuesday, April 13, 7:00-8:00.
Register Here: https://zoom.us/meeting/register/tJMqdeyvqjssGNEdv66j5gqqLZFlYCpCldon
Andrea Malkin Brenner, PhD, co-author of How to College: What to Know Before You Go (and When You’re There), is a college transitions educator and a former college professor and first-year administrator. Laura Lorenzen, MSW, founder of District Special Education Partners, provides parent coaching and IEP advocacy services. Her next parent class on “Supporting Your Disorganized Child” launches in late April.
How to Reduce Online School Anxiety
Written by: Isabelle Saunders
Kids in school have gotten used to something of an academic bicycle. They’re connected: if they fall, the bicycle comes down with them. They’re given tangible attention and help to right themselves. With the rise of virtual learning, however, has emerged the academic motorboat. Students feel that if they fall, the boat will speed right along without them. The more distant, impersonal nature makes it all too easy to lose track of everything, and for assignments to build up without students even realizing it. This being said, online school anxiety is real and prominent. So, as a parent, how should you help your child stay firmly on the motorboat? And, since they’re bound to slip up at some point, how can you help them back on?
Help them keep their life structured
One of the biggest things behind virtual learning burnout is the lack of structure that a day without school has brought. A loose day off is nice in moderation, but when it’s every single day, you lose your productivity.
Remind your child to get dressed in normal clothes, even if they won’t be going anywhere (this actually works wonders for mental health!).
If possible, help them designate their own workspace (a desk, a table, a spot in their room, etc) and keep it clean, organized, and visually appealing.
Make sure they’re eating- if their school is doing all-day zoom classes, it can be easy for them to forget. By keeping up a regular, healthy diet, they will feel so much better and ready to seize the day.
To the best of your ability, plan the day. If they’re suffering from boredom, have them do activities that they’re able to. For locations more lenient with COVID-19 regulations, this will be far more. If your area is stricter, do your best to add fun and structure to their day at home! Check Pinterest for projects, teach them to cook, get them into reading, start a garden. Anything that makes them happy and passes the time will perk them up considerably. Try not to let them feel like they’re rotting!
If you’re a visual type, draw out a schedule. Have time allotted for homework. Suggest that they install an organizational reminders app on their phone to keep up with their assignments, or look into helping them make a schedule board.
Reach out to teachers
If possible, get in touch with their teachers and ask for a written-out assignments list. Treat it like a checklist. Most schools have websites where you can check your child’s grades at any time, and your child can use this to make sure they’re on track. If your child’s school doesn’t have a website like this, ask teachers directly about grades.
These tips are most helpful for keeping your child on the boat, but what happens when they fall off?
Be easygoing and understanding
Your child is under a fair amount of stress, and even as you go about helping them, it’s important that you stay relaxed. If you get onto them, you’re adding excess pressure that will do the opposite of what you’re intending. Remind them to take regular breaks.
Reduce distractions
If your child needs to make up work they’ve forgotten about, remove things that will slow them down. If you have other children, try not to let them come up to your child and distract them. Don’t have the TV up loud around them or try to talk to them about other things that aren’t immediately important. Music while doing schoolwork, if not actively distracting, is okay. It helps stimulate the brain and make work more enjoyable.
Help your child stay social
Friends can help your child through so many rough times, especially academically. Suggest to your child that they FaceTime a friend for a study session. Let them joke around and talk when they’re done. This relieves anxiety and can help them learn more effectively with the ease of talking to a friend.
Above all, remember to be empathetic. Let them know you’re there for them- no one wants to feel alone.
For more information, check out the links below.
https://xqsuperschool.org/rethinktogether/parent-remote-learning-tips-resources/
https://education.jhu.edu/2020/04/8tipsforfocus/